Settle For Less
EXCITING NEWS FROM THE MISSING TEENS, ARGUABLY THE GREATEST BAND YOU, YOUR CHILDREN, OR YOUR GRANDCHILDREN WILL EVER HEAR
HOLY CRAPOLA! It would appear that the CHART-TOPPING GREATEST ALBUM OF 2004-2009, “Music for Young Adults,” is finally for SALE online! Why, you can buy it at iTunes and support Steve Jobs or buy it at Amazon and support Jeffrey Bezos! Remember: Also support the arts!…or you are a terrible person.
Wow kids! We just keep pumping em out! It’s a new Song of the Moment from The Missing Teens! Just click on “Music” on the list of ingredients over there on the left to hear with your ears!
Are you all pumped for megalomaniac front man James Call’s 30th Birthday Party at Don Pedro*??! We’ll be debuting the NEW LIVE BAND there! A whole new sound for a whole new era!
Come hear 30 glorious songs by The Missing Teens and James Call & Erotic Photo Hunt, one for each glorious year of our petulant hero’s life. Performances by Psycho Rainbow and some other TBD bands…the best kind! This all goes down Friday, April 24th at “Happy Hour Heaven” Don Pedro in Williamsburg (directions below). $2 well drinks until 10pm? I think I died and went to…”happy hour heaven!” Get it? HA HA HA HA HA.
Twitter, anyone? Yes, The Missing Teens are now a part of modern civilization’s stupidest craze! Be our friends, and see what we’re up to! Why not! We’ll return the favor! No, really! Become a follower of The Missing Teens’ Twitter feed, we’ll follow you back, you send us a direct message describing us in 140 characters or less & we’ll send you a SUPER-RARE mp3. Technology!
Oh and hey, Facebook! Ever heard of that thing? Yeah, well, be our fans, or we’ll hire someone to break your kneecaps. “LOL”!
Love,
The Missing Teens
* - Also The Missing Teens’ Bass-o-Matic Dave Tirolo’s Birthday
Don Pedro
90 Manhattan (between Boerum and McKibben)
L to Montrose or
G to Broadway or
M to Lorimer
Hola, kiddos!
For those of you perhaps a tad disappointed by the whole Valentine’s Day experience, boy do we have a treat for you.
I’m talking about the very first V.D. Day at The Annex (152 Orchard St.) on Monday, February 16th. The Missing Teens on stage at 10pm.
Not only will the Teens be putting on their always-guaranteed fantastic live show, they’ll be bringing you LIVE SPEED DATING and your very own complementary copy of the Missing Teens Romance Manual! Now you’ll never have another question about the far-out approach to love and romance!
We have a few other shows cooking, including our very own James Call’s ludicrous 30th birthday party (featuring 30 live songs and such like intensity), and the now-headed-to-the-iTunes-store-and-elsewhere release of “Music For Young Adults,” freshly mastered by Kim Rosen at West West Side Music. STAY TUNED!
And be sure to “fan” or “friend” us on Facebook and Myspace, in case you haven’t already, you 21st century creatures you.
SHOWS GALORE!
Hey, anyone remember that George W. Bush guy? You know, the dude who stole a national election, bombed the Chinese embassy, used the largest attack on US soil in over 200 years to silence his political opponents at home and launch a spree of deregulation and an avalanche of no-bid contracts to assorted cronies? Who started a foreign war on false pretenses? Who presided over the destruction of a major US city and port? Who attempted to privatize the life-long promised federal pension every retired American is supposed to receive?
Yeah, that guy. We’ll be celebrating his departure from the White House and wishing Mr. Barack Obama well as he faces two wars, a crushing depression, a massive deficit, political opposition in the Senate, our friend global warming, and of course, an old favorite, the Israel/Palestinian conflict, on Friday, January 23rd, for FREE, at the Village Lantern, with live music and much partying.
Come join us with BLIMINAL and ESTELLA at 9:30pm on Friday Jan. 23rd at the VL (167 Bleecker St @ Sullivan). 21+. Bring your shoes! (Hope you guys got that one…)
Furthermore, all of you disenchanted Giants fans are going to get your chance to do the Superbowl right by coming by Don Pedro’s on February 1st, where you can soothe your wounded hometown pride with some booze and some rock. Join the Missing Teens with the AIDS, Revolutionary Smut, and Mosiach Oi! at Don Pedro’s (90 Manhattan Ave. in Brooklyn, near Boerum, L to Montrose) and for a meager $5 we’ll wipe those frustrated tears off your face.
Also: Valentine’s Day got you down? You are not alone. Join the Missing Teens at the Annex on Feb. 16th to commiserate. With, of course, live muzak.
HERE COMES “MUSIC FOR YOUNG ADULTS”!!!
FINALLY, Music For Young Adults, our smash debut album, is mastered, sounding awesome, and will be available digitally via all respectable and non-respectable outlets in the first quarter of 2009.
NEW SONGS OF THE MOMENT!
Have you checked out the most recent Song of the Moment? We’re upping our production in 2009 - check every week or so.
JAMES CALL: EXPERT
Last, and certainly least: are you an undereducated person? Well perhaps it’s time to inform your ass with the incoherent ramblings of a drunk who fancies himself well-read. It’s time for James Call: Expert. This podcast also features quality music by the Missing Teens and some of our little friends. Check it out here: http://www.kickemwhiletheyredown.net/expert/index.html
Til the next diatribe, kiddos!
It’s that time of year again kids, the time of year when we gather ’round the Christmas Tree and set it aflame, and launch it in the air, missile-like, at a poor community, to burn it down to make way for quality upscale housing projects to be used by up-and-coming filmmakers and financial gurus.
No, not REALLY, but it is the “holiday season,” and therefore we in the Missing Teens are happy to be bringing the first annual Christmas Ball Pageant to the Village Lantern this December 5th (Friday), via Mishap East.
This is another FREE show, not to be missed, and we’re very happy to be playing it along with Son, the brainchild of Force Theory’s Neill “Synth & Bass Slut” Livingston, and Psycho Rainbow (formerly Lost Nairb), as well as DJ Steve Rittner.
If you’d like to know the Story of the Christmas Ball, I’ve posted it below. Otherwise… ladies, bring your sexy elf outfits! Gents, bring your mistletoe hats! Nebraskans celebrate! The party kicks off at 9 pm at the Village Lantern - 167 Bleecker St @ Sullivan.
Also in the works for the Missing Teens: mastering with West West Side Music on the 13th… a new podcast coming down the pike… and more new songs in the works, natch.
Why We Celebrate the Christmas Ball
In the beginning (-5648 BCE), there was nothingness. And from the nothingness came light. And that light was torn asunder, and from it two worlds were born: a world of Good and a world of Evil. And as the swirling masses of these dual worlds cooled and congealed, great entities arose to look over them…
Mukor, Ruler of All Galaxies, with his army of fear-dreidels and 90s dance hits (see: C&C Music Factory, Bizarre Inc., etc) presided over the world of evil.
The Christmas Ball, the manifestation of holiday cheer, did arise over the world of good. And it was placed in Nebraska, the ultimate source of christmas cheer. And elves and unicorns were born.
Over the years Mukor sought to extend his rule of all galaxies over our galaxy, the galaxy of good (i.e., “Rock and Roll”). And every year, the rocking people of the Earth drove him away with Christmas Cheer.
That is why every year we gather around the Christmas Ball dressed as sexy elves or people from Nebraska, and give thanks to the power of Rock for driving Mukor from us.
Please join us at The Village Lantern (167 Bleecker btw Sullivan/Thompson) this Friday, Dec. 5th, starting at 9pm, for a FREE celebration of the Christmas Ball, with live music from Son, Psycho Rainbow, the Missing Teens, and DJ Steve Rittner, and let’s drive the evil Mukor back from whence he came using the power of song and our mistletoe hats. 21+
Just wanted to note here (haven’t blogged in a while) that our first annual Shalloween concert at the Village Lantern was a big success, and wanted to thank our other bands, Son and Deep Sound Diver, as well as Andy for running sound, Mishap East for pulling this beezwax together, Phil for letting us borrow his kit and James Poohbear Dunham and Chris Sound for being supportive and helping bring this rocking event to fruition.
Folks, we’re finally doing it - we’re taking the 5-year running Mishap Prom from San Francisco to New York for the first time, and the Missing Teens are headlining this son of a bitch.
To tell the whole tale at this time would be a righteous pain in the ass, but rest assured, it is a mighty one, involving two hyperactive girls, the anxious hero yours truly, our very own Jack Fabulous (who did this here web design), plus Chris Herbeck, Roxiny, Lost Nairb, the TJ Moss Band, and DJ Daren Lake from Baltimore (no, it’s not just like “the Wire” necessarily).
The Prom is going down at BLVD on Friday, August 15th, 2008; doors at 8:30 PM. Hopefully it’ll be a raging success. We in the Teens are tired of playing dinky little clubs for no pay and low turnout. That’s not to say that the folks at the Trash Bar and the Delancey haven’t been kings and queens about our treatment, but we’re lingering in obscurity while Kanye sips Alize in a hot tub made of diamonds in St. Tropez or wherever. Something has to be done about that.
To honor our big party, we’re presenting FOUR, count ‘em 1-2-3-4, totally new songs. Well, that’s a fib, one is a revamped version of ancient tune “Geometry”. And another is “Christina,” which has never had recorded vocals since the basic tracks were written 8 years ago. But the rest are very new indeed, including “Business Acumen,” which you can find in the “latest goddamn thing” section of this here website.
Our lineup for this show is Darren “Black Thor” Jones on drums and Dave “Freedom” Tirolo on bass. We mayhaps be joined by Tim “Silky Smooth” Brennan on the chaos pad; we’ll see how things go this weekend. In any event, the sound has come a long way in past few months, as we prepare to slowly wean ourselves off the iPod.
The whole glitterati will be there, so come on out and meet the Next Mishap Generation, and wear your tux or gown, ’cause, quite frankly, if you wanna get lucky, you gotta dress the part.
Cheers, kids,
James
Fantastic news for all you Missing Teens fans out there.
Music for Young Adults is coming very soon. Finally, we have the money to print the fucker and move on full bore to Gentrifornication. I’ve got my computer back and everything is set to go.
And two HUGE shows loom on the horizon.
First off, we’re bringing the Mishap Prom to NYC at long last. The whole band sans Orange Magic just flew out and played the 5th SF Mishap Prom on May 2nd, but come August the Prom will be here in the Big Apple for the first time. We have a venue in mind, but I don’t want to jinx us by posting it here before we have it confirmed. That’s gonna rock the balls…
…but first we get to play with the Royal Wylds for the very first time… Darren and I used to work with Steve O’Rorke at the John Dell’aria Salon in SOHO, in circumstances that would make for a perfect mediocre sitcom, actually. We rock Friday June 6th at the Delancey, 9pm, right before the Wylds, and that’s our last show of the summer before the Prom in NYC, so get your asses down there pronto!
We’ll have pictures from the SF prom soon, and CDs for sale, so stay posted. And don’t stop thinking about tomorrow.
Well, here we are again, boys and girls, on Valentine’s Day, a day no one with a heart can really care for. A chore for couples, and a painful reminder of inadequacy for everyone else. But for the Missing Teens, it’s just one more day in a year of success, success, success.
A recent massive ConEd bill hit my delinquent ass and wiped out the money I had been saving up to get Music For Young Adults mass produced, and I also had a bit of a RAM scare on the ol’ G5, meaning not much has gotten done since our fab show at the Annex almost a month back, but the band has been joined in the live configuration by Dave Tirolo, who cut a lot of the bass on the record, and is an all-around swell guy.
We’ve also added the Tambourine Girls to the mix, for when Triangle Lass decides her time would be better spent filing her nails.
Next Saturday (Feb. 23rd) we return to our alma mater, the Trash Bar, to mingle with alcoholics - I call them my base. The show’s at midnight SHARP, costs $7, and will be swell all around. At 11 catch the Motel Creeps, who suffered a guitar pedal tragedy at the last show, but should be prepped and ready to rock this time.
Oh - and also, please, we’d like to be famous. So for those of you all up ons the social networking tip, just click this button below and “become our fan”. Trust us, you don’t get spam, it just helps us become famous in this weird post-modern viral world we’re living in.
Ok kids, enjoy your celebration of Venus (a goddess on a mountaintop), and we’ll see you on Saturday.
2008 dawns upon us, and the signs look good. George W. Bush will no longer be in the White House, James has finally graduated college, and though Darren has lost his driver’s license, he hasn’t lost his dignity.
We’re all finally done - finally - with Music For Young Adults. Got the whole thing mastered down at NY Hed Studios by Ivan Julian, who ran the whole album through tape and more or less just cut some of the muddiness out of the low end.
The thing about studying audio engineering is that once you do, unless you have the golden ear and the magic touch, you’ll never be happy about your end result. Somehow through the last year of mixing, I pulled down the samples too much on “Drive Uphill” and made it less funky. “Rise to the Bait” got brightened up and lost the resonance in the marimba sample. Et cetera.
This is the sort of shit that can keep you up at night and drive you to drink, but it’s time to put this baby to rest. Someday there’ll be a “Music for Young Adults 2.0″ - in the meantime, many of these tunes sound great, especially thanks to Ivan, his ear, and his gear. And we’ve got some beautiful cover art on it’s way, courtesy of Mike Weber and Al Maskeroni’s addled brains and photo skills.
Now, gotta just save the cash to print the fucker. ETA, March 2008.
In the meantime, we’re playing our very first gig of the year at a venue that’s new for us - The Annex down on Orchard St, this upcoming Saturday, January 26. And praise the dark Gods - we’re being joined by none other than Dave Tirolo on the bass (Dave recorded most of the bass on the album). We’ll be doing a very special cover song that no child of the 90s should miss out on. Plus Orange Magic has a new guitar. Please stop by and check us out, along with our friends the Motel Creeps.
And hither, upwards and onwards, we continue to cut tracks for Gentrifornication, which is already sounding good… and finally, we’re on Facebook. Please click and add us as a fan. Apparently that’s how you become famous. Don’t worry, we’ll save a spot in the hot tub for you!
See you on Saturday,
Dr. Feelquestionable
whoa kids. What a month. What a month indeed. The real James has a new job that’s kicking the shit out of him, but otherwise the boat of productivity is sailing with the wind at its back and the plutonium in the nuclear engine a’decayin’.
First off, right around the corner is our GAMESHOW NIGHT at the Trash Bar, Thurs. Oct 11th at 10 pm, which will leave you ALL with some skintastic prizes.
And then after that we have a show at the Delancey on Monday, Oct. 29th… and sure, it’s a Monday, but it’s FREE! And it features Chocolatron, I Fold, and Runny! It’s going to knock your socks up.
Other than that, the Missing Teens are still looking for a bassist and finally getting ready to press Music for Young Adults.
Then, onto the next thing! Viva la Zen!
See you at the show(s)!